Complete
by Verline
Summary: SPOILERS! C!Syaoran is about to sacrifice himself for the others' sake but R!Syaoran won't let him. Rather uncommon vision of the heart business; don't like, don't read? :s Implied SyxSaxSy, SyxSy if you want to read it that way. One shot.


_**Notes**__: This would take place some time after chapter 179. I'm assuming Clone!Syaoran did grow a heart but it did not really "wake up" until he stabbed Clone!Sakura's soul. I'm also assuming he knows about the Sakura cloning. He and the group meet again as he's trying to make sense of everything and making his way to where Fei Wang Reed currently is. Real!Syaoran uses the opportunity to pwn him and knock some sense into him._

_Written in Clone!Syaoran's point of view, so it might be slightly confusing as he's very confused himself at this point._

_**Warning: SPOILERS**__ up to __**chapter 179.**_

_**Disclaimer:**__ Clamp's. Not mine. Borrowing._

_**Complete**_

He would not live through it. He did not plan to. But maybe that was what was needed in order to succeed. Maybe giving up the very idea of survival when throwing yourself into battle could give you the strength and courage to accomplish this kind of miracles.  
As long as the originals were alive, nothing would end. She had said so. Would it make up for all he had done? He was not sure of anything anymore. But the others would be safe, and he would be reunited with her who was not really her.  
And all would be well again.

Someone punched him. Hard.

'Do you think I gave up seven years of my life for you to end it all like this, now that my wish has been granted?'

He blinked, and his eyes found those of the other him, alight with fury. He was not surprised that his other self seemed to have guessed his intentions - they had once shared a heart after all. But everything was so different now, how could he understand?

True, he had finally, _finally_ found something inside him that could resemble a new, weak, hesitating heart. It was what incited him to battle his creator, now that he realized the horror of his ways. But he had nothing left now; and this.._.this_ would give a meaning to his artificial life. Hadn't he grown this heart so in the end he could repay all those who had helped in its creation?

'Think again.' His other self said, with another punch for good measure that he forgot to dodge too. He was not supposed to feel pain anyway.

He knelt down, slowly, his eyes blank. Lost.

Things were much easier when that heart was still too weak to meddle with his thoughts. Collect the feathers. Destroy every obstacle. Kill. There was no room for doubt or emotion. Now he questioned everything, and it hurt. _Understanding_ hurt.

He was nothing. A copy, a tool, and a murderer. He had taken so many lives. He had killed _her_. He had nothing left to live for. The others had so much to look forward to. He was the only one whose life they could afford to risk.

There was a hand on his shoulder, and he started, his hand going to Hien's hilt instinctively. He was not used to being touched anymore, not in _that_ way.

'We will end this together, and we will live through it. Because we have someone to come back to.'

He looked up into those eyes again. The fury was gone, replaced with the burning desire to make him _understand_. But there was nothing to understand, was there? He was alone. He had killed the only person who had ever cared about him. Now that_ he_ was there for Sakura, he had no reason to stay. So what was this he felt, pulling at his chest? What was this pain he should not be feeling?

The other leant forward to whisper in his ear and he did not draw back. This was meant for their ears only. Just the both of them. Just "Syaoran".

'I will be incomplete in her eyes.'

He gasped. Incomplete? He struggled to make sense of what the original was saying. He was finally whole again; he could not be incomplete. After years and years of developing in two separate bodies, the two halves of his heart had finally merged again. What could he be lacking, now that he was complete again?

Strong arms encircled him, engulfing him with warmth he was almost scared of. His world was cold. It was meant to be. Warmth meant feelings, affection. Safety. Warmth meant _love_. It was intruding. He shivered; but the embrace tightened and he found he couldn't - _wouldn't _- struggle against it.

Why did it feel so right?

'I was not the man she fell in love with. Neither were you. She loved us both, as one.'

His eyes unfocused as his heart tried to make sense of what he was hearing. Syaoran was whole, so he was not the same. He lacked the incomplete part of him that had made her love_ them_. She needed him, because she loved them both. _They_ needed him.

His heart ached, and his vision blurred. He did not deserve to be loved by any of them; but he _wanted_ to. He did not know what to think. He did not know what to do. He was frozen, shivering in the other's arms. There was something wet on his cheeks. He felt so lost.

The embrace did not loosen.

He remembered being hugged, a long, long time ago. He remembered his father, sheltering him from the rain and calling him his son. Holding him close as he told him about her, and her heart-warming smile, radiant as the sun. He remembered warmth, trust. He remembered_ love_.

And he found he wanted to trust the fire in the other's eyes; he wanted to trust this warmth. He _knew_ he could. They had shared a heart once, they could go through this together. They were different now, but as long as they had each other nothing would end. There were other ways to atone for what he had done. His life had a purpose now. There were so many things to discover, so many feelings to experience. So many things to wish for. He was still confused, and he still had many things left to understand. But he knew that for now, he could trust _him._

They would end this together, and all would be well again.

Because they had someone to come back to.

* * *

_**Notes²:**__Thank you for reading! Hope that wasn't too confusing. Yes, I'm implying that Sakura fell in love with the Clone!Syaoran/Real!Syaoran combination, therefore neither one nor the other, but both. Clone!Syaoran's a bit too emotional, but...he's trying to understand his newly awakened heart so _that _must be disturbing I guess.  
The wish Real!Syaoran's talking about is simply his clone growing a heart of his own. I like to think he would be a bit pissed if this happened (and hope he'll be if it does). He did spend several years in a tube hoping for the clone to grow a heart after all._

_Feel free to point out any mistake, constructive criticism is welcome :) (...but please refrain from flaming me for "omg totally not understanding the manga lol"?__I� _know _things don't seem to be heading that way in the manga, this is just me writing my own version of the whole thing. __Which is, actually, what fanfiction is for. :))_


End file.
